(no subject)

 

Woah. Been a long time since I last posted. Nearly five years. I still get notifications from some people, here and eventually that prompted me to come back and go through all my old posts.

God damn was I a drama queen.

I think I might make one last update before I move on from this site for good. I don't really remember anyone on here anymore, and I'm not sure what there really is to do on this site these days. If anyone still follows me, then by all means, feel free to weigh in. I think it wasdarth_eldritch who made me a lovely Telvanni icon back in the day, which I am using for this particular entry, so thank you for that. :)

So, what's been happening since 2013?

Um, well for starters, I'm a woman now. That's pretty big, I guess. If anyone didn't notice the "Anna" at the top of my profile, or did notice it and wasn't sure what it meant, that's the scoop. I'm a chick and my name's Anna. Nice to re-meet you.

I'm pansexual and polyamorous, and currently seeing four lovely people. Got a date with a fifth person this Friday. I live in a nice little house with my partner of 3 years and our housemate, and we have a kitty named Mercury and a puppen named Shiro. We're very happy here. In about 10-20 years I want to move to Canada and live on a small hobby farm with my bff Chloe, with bees and a hazelnut orchard and chickens, but that's long-term.

Work was a big issue back in the day. I've been through several jobs, all of which have been ruined by my mental health, before my doctor and psychologist went "fuck this shit" and got me applying for the disability pension. My brain's actually been a clusterfuck since I was 16 -- was that ten years ago? jesus -- but it's only now that I'm finally starting to recognise that this isn't going away, and taking the steps to lock things down for the long haul. Pension, better quality of life, proper medication, stuff like that. I have a lot more to be positive about now.

hallowspite and I are still BFFs, and I actually visited her at the beginning of this month. Met her ferrets and puppen, went out and explored Sydney, all kinds of fun stuff like that. We'd met a grand total of once before, for like two hours, back in 2012. This time I stayed in town for a week. After knowing each other for nine years, it was about time.

I've made a big deal of moving on from people who were harmful to me -- Ali and Gavin, who I talked about a lot in a the past, were two such people. My mental health AND just my life in general started improving when I began being more ruthless with the people I removed from my world, and conversely, more giving and loving to the people who deserved it. I've curated a small group of lovely people who I trust with my life, both locally and online, and things are much better now because of it.

This year I turned 26. I'm still really fucking young, but I'm so happy I can look back at my teens and early 20s and see how impermanent everything was. With the help of Dusty and Chloe and a few other wonderful people, as well as my amazing psychologist, I feel like I've really started to get a handle on my life. There are rough spots, for sure, but I can improvise through them like I've done everything else, and look for the beauty in all of it. Again, I have a lot more to be positive about now. I've become a much happier and more loving person, trying to fill my life and the lives of others with joy, and it's brought me nothing but peace.

And to whoever's followed me through this insane fuckin journey -- I don't know who lol, I don't even remember how to check who follows me anymore -- thanks for sticking around. I hope this is a satisfactory ending to my journal.

Love,
Anna

Edit: Btw I got really cute, check it out