Anna

Tomorrow and Friday are my first two days of work placement. As part of the Cert II, I have to do 120 hours of unpaid work experience. Yes, if a full on Cert II wasn't enough to get employers seriously turned on, work experience will probably have them creaming themselves. An apprentice who not only knows a thing or two about electrical, but knows his way around real life situations? Someone who OMG DOESN'T NEED AS MUCH TRAINING? GET IN MY CREW.

I'm rather looking forward to it. It's been nearly six months (woah) since I did a full-on honest day's work, and I'm excited by the prospect of actually doing something practically constructive. ^_^

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In other news, I did a little writing last night, for the first time in... hm, I dunno. A long time.  high school? I was on Write Or Die, and pretty much just pulled 500 words out of my arse, but it was a fun exercise and it turned out better than I expected. Still have yet to edit it, though. May or may not continue it. If I do, it'll probably just turn out to be some casual thing that I make up on the spot, unless/until inspiration hits.

If there's one thing I'll never understand about fanfic writers, it's the way they interact with canon.

Whatever I read, it seems that nine FFs out of ten will a) have their story change canon in one way or another, and/or b) have their own character interact/interfere directly with canon.

Case in point: Oblivion. Dragon Age. WoW. Naruto. Pokemon. Code Lyoko.

What I am sick of is when the writers start manipulating canon characters, to change canon.

I'm not sure how to explain it without sounding like a complete hypocrite. This isn't like the author changing the Oblivion DB quest so that the player character manages to save LuLa and the Sanctuary. This is when the author changes things stupidly, and expect people to take them seriously.

One: Slash fic. *shudders* No offence to all the slash fic writers out there, but I can't stand it. I'll admit it's because gay couplings are not my cup of tea, and the writing in general is rarely enough to keep me interested. Sorry guys. Also, when people write slash and expect me to take it seriously, they are very misguided. I cannot take any non-canon pairings involving canon characters seriously.

 Now that slash is out of the way...


Okay. So I have this Mary Sue test I use, The Universal Mary-Sue Litmus Test. It's pretty good.

And I went through the fanfic section, since I was writing a Morrowind character. And these are some of the questions I saw:

Is your character's name a variation, pun, or synonym of a canon character's name?
Does your character possess a weapon or artifact that is not normal in the universe he/she is in? (For example, a lightsaber in a Lord of the Rings story.)
Is your character closely related to a canon character?
Is your character liked by all the canon characters you like?
How many major characters fall for your character?
Does your character become the boyfriend/girlfriend of a canon character?
At any point, does your character take over the job/position of a canon character?
Does your character get kidnapped by the bad guys?
Do the canon characters immediately come to the rescue?

My first question was "Wtf? People actually write this?"

 Canon, canon, canon! Fuck canon! What the fuck is it with everyone and changing canon?

You don't change fucking canon! Write before canon, after canon, outside canon, "unofficial" canon (aka blanks you filled in yourself), even alternate canon, but never within! *bangs head repeatedly against wall*

Maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm overreacting. I've read loads of good fics and concepts . But they all worked within the boundaries of the universe. The Hero of Kvatch fails to stop the Oblivion invasion. The story of how Commander Shepard grew up and got to where he did. Hell, the best fanfic I ever read was based on a game's main story.

These are the good ones. But most fics, it seems, involve writing the same story with the same ending, but with a complete and unexplained character change for at least one of the mains for a while, and then they go back to normal. The only explanation: Fan writer.

And this why I refuse to touch canon. I work within the universe, but I'm not even going to try and pretend that my version of the story would be better than the main. Screw that. Besides, it's not my story! My story might be within the universe, but it's got nothing to do with the main story. Fanfic is a tribute, not a takeover.

Urgh... how hypocritical was I this time?

I'm scared to write, and I'm scared to draw. Why? I know for a fact that I'm scared to do it, but there's no legit reason to actually be scared.

All I have is my fear and my delusions (or not?) of inadequacy.

Wait - am I afraid of being adequate? I look at my friends' art and writing, and I get horrible feelings telling me that I'll never be anywhere as good as this.

So I did some writing today, for the first time in fucking years. Posted it on dA; hopefully I'll get some good concrit. It wasn't anything special, just a scene between some characters I threw together on the spot.There's no real story, just a scene.

By the end of it, I was having loads of fun, and my confidence had skyrocketed. But it plummeted again just before, when I tried to do some drawing. I'll have to write again tonight, to get my morale back up.

This is it.

I'm finally on the verge of adulthood. In less than five hours I'll be eighteen years old, and legally a fully-grown human being. I'll be able to buy alcohol; I'll be able to vote; I'll be fully out of my parents' control, and fully into my own.

And you know what? I don't even care. I have this incredible feeling of apathy about it. I don't know why, but it's there.

Should it bother me? Bah, I dunno.




GOD I REALLY WANT TO WRITE RIGHT NOW. But it's not working. My pencil doesn't want to touch the paper, no matter how inspired I am. My fingers refuse to talk, regardless of how eager they are to pump out this journal. (That's actually part of the purpose of this entry - to see if the block is applying to everything written or just my stories.) I have ideas. But GARRRRHH!!!! I'm frustrated by the extreme APATHY I have about it.

Bloody hell. I gotta get my mind off this. Apparently my siblings are going swimming on one of their friend's pool tonight.... maybe I can tag along.


'Night all.