shade184 | Entries tagged with family

It's often said, with a grim smile, that you learn who your real friends are when you fall on hard times. A friend in [times of] need is a friend indeed, right?

Well, today I learned that the reverse is true, too. When you're dealing with strife, you can learn just how many friends you have.

Today I got into a fight with my parents. The details are unimportant; all that needs tto be said is that the final result was my decision to move out. As in, that very day. I cleaned out my room, packed what I could and stored the rest. My mate Greg is letting me stay at his place for a few days. On Monday I'm sorting out Centrelink; if it's enough, I'll be moving in with an old friend who's offered me the room she's been desperate to rent out. It should be enough.

The decision was easy enough to make, but it kinda left me reeling. I'm adaptable to change and moving out, but still, the way it all worked out was quite a shock to my system. :/ I sobbed a bit, made a few calls, started cleaning my room. Thankfully, cleaning calms me, and I could tell that this was the better decision in the long run. In fact, after thinking clearly about it, I was feeling good. Really good, in fact. I needed this! All this time I've been so desperate to move out, and at last I'm getting the boot up the arse I've been needing to push me into action.

And the support kinda blew my mind. My two best friends helped me calm down and rationalise; Greg and his dad have offered me both a place to stay and a backup if Centrelink baulks (his dad's a JP and will vouch for me); Ali's got a room for me; several other friends, both online and IRL, have offered help and/or moral support. I didn't know I even HAD this many friends. Needless to say, I'm feeling rather loved right now.

So. Today was spent unwinding and getting out. Tomorrow I do an assignment that needs to be finished ASAP, and on Monday I mail it in and pay Centrelink a visit, to see how much I can get after being kicked out. (In case it wasn't obvious what REALLY happened, hehe.) If they'll give me enough I can confirm my new housemate status.

This is turning out to be a blessing in disguise, no? :) I'm glad to finally be moving forward. Winging it is what I do best, and I'm in my element.

Current Mood: chipper
Crossposts: http://shade184.livejournal.com/94030.html

Didn't go to the doctor today.

( In which I grumpily explain why. )

Current Mood: okay
Crossposts: http://shade184.livejournal.com/91836.html

Been thinking a LOT about life and stuff, the things I want to do, and the shit holding me back. Not just engineering and other career-related stuff, but also why I haven't done so well in my efforts to stick to things like drawing and writing and music.

( In which I discuss how I am going to to move forward. )

------

( Teeth, of all things. )

Current Mood: determined
Current Music: Soraraio Days - Gurren Lagann OST
Crossposts: http://shade184.livejournal.com/89598.html

Today was most eventful.

( A long, waaay-too-detailed description of today's events. )

TL;DR Sean hurt his hand, we had to run around for ages dealing with it, stayed in Brisbane much longer than we wanted to, but he's fine now and will be home tomorrow.

Oh, and I missed my words for today AND my drawing update. :(

Current Mood: exhausted
Crossposts: http://shade184.livejournal.com/76557.html

Oh hey, looks like I'm gonna be an uncle. :D

Current Mood: excited
Crossposts: http://shade184.livejournal.com/57193.html

Just got back from a sleepover at my brother's place. We used to have a sort of tradition - he and I would get some soft drink and nachos, and play through one of the Halo games together in co-op mode. Some of the best gaming moments I've ever had have been with Andy, and now that I've bought Halo: Reach, it was fantastic to get back together and play through it with him. Such a great game, and a wonderful end to a wonderful series.

------

Sometimes, I hate my family situation.

Two of my sisters are doing their utmost to bring my parents down, out of nought but spite. My brother is in a relationship that is not good for him, but he can't see it. (I was in a similar one, too, and I know from experience that it's nigh-impossible to realise that you're in a bad situation until you're way past it.) And his girlfriend is a cunt. My parents would be able to handle things if it was just the kids, but the interference from Tina and Bethany are overwhelming them. There's a lot of built-up teenage frustration being unleashed at the first potential target, and all I can do is pitch in and be there for my folks when things get tought. I feel so helpless.

(My job offers a small mercy in this regard. When I live away from home, I don't have to think about any of this.)

On top of all this, the situation is changing me too, in many ways. I haven't been able to get my driving time up much at all, and after two years am close to, but still not at a hundred hours yet. I have learned to sacrifice the things most important to me, for the greater good. I have learned to be patient. My entire personality is built around suppressing my own darker side, so as to protect my family and friends. While I am extremely flexible, this comes at the cost of my own steadfastness - I can adapt more easily because I have nothing to hold onto. My religious beliefs are completely different. After a period of beng uncomfortably overweight, I am starting to revert back to how I used to be.

I have to wait for this to blow over. But it's a very stressful time, and especially now that I'm living like I am, I don't have nearly as much moral support from my friends as I used to.

I'm going to change because of this too. I'm going to become stronger, physically and mentally, and I'm going to become more independent, relying less on my friends and family. This is a good thing in the long run, but I do not want to forget the people I care about. They're practically my family now.

Current Mood: sad
Crossposts: http://shade184.livejournal.com/52594.html

If there's one thing everybody needs to know about raising a child, it's that patience is everything. I'm looking after my little brother this afternoon, he's two, and he's reached the "there's so much I want to say but I can't communicate it and so I get frustrated and start crying because I don't know what else to do" stage.

In this case, the best thing to do is give him a great big hug to show you that you still love him, gently try to calm him down, and show him that you are paying attention and listening, so you can understand what he's saying. Little Sean's very intelligent for his age - smarter than any of his siblings were when they were two - so I can imagine his frustration might get in the way.

Nothing Thomas The Tank Engine can't fix, though. :3

ETA: Oh good, he's asleep now.

Current Mood: patient
Crossposts: http://shade184.livejournal.com/48923.html

Got to Centrelink today. I'm eligible for a flood relief grant of about eleven hundred dollars in total. Since I'm still living at home (albeit paying board) about half of it's going to my parents, to help pay for the repair of the creek bank behind my house, or to help pay for the move should the bank prove irrepairable. I know that half might seem like a lot, but at this rate there might be more flooding on the way (regardless of what the weather is like right now) so we have to be ready for anything.

As for the rest of it, I'm going to spending part of it to get Fable 3, and the rest is going towards my car savings.

I don't really want to give away five hundred dollars. It's about half my first car's cost, right there in the bank. But it needs to be done. Besides, I am an expert at thrifty spending. As someone who's lived their entire life in a large family on a casual teacher's pay (my dad has had it so, so hard when it comes to finding work), I've learned to make do and to do without. I can live with a little less money. And anyway, it's a "flood relief" grant! That's what it's for, helping to deal with the floods. The car savings part is an added bonus.

And I'm not going to abandon my family, like my brother pretty much has.

Crossposts: http://shade184.livejournal.com/39571.html

The aftermath of a flood is often just as bad as, if not worse than the actual flood itself. We've had to stock up on food and petrol, and the SES is pretty sure the town water's contaminated with something (although they can't prove it). Luckily for us, our two rainwater tanks will be more than enough to drink/shower/wash the dishes with, and we can still use the town water for the toilet and laundry (apparently it's safe to use it for the latter).

But here's another thing. The bank of the creek which my house is next to has suffered heavy damage from the water. If something isn't done about it, there's a chance that it may collapse. It won't take the house with it if it does, but we'll lose the barbeque ( a lovely old brick one) and part of the fence, not to mention it'll be a massive safety hazard.

Either we'll have to have it repaired, which could cost thousands of dollars, or we'll have to move, which will cost even more (especially when you consider the size of my family and all that that entails).

Nothing's been decided yet, at the moment it's nothing but an off-hand remark in a quick conversation. I guess we'll see what happens.

Crossposts: http://shade184.livejournal.com/39344.html

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Anna

Entries tagged with family

In which I GTFO.

Sigh.

Positive changes.

A busy day.

:3

(no subject)

Baby brother.

Money.

Aftermath.

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June 2018

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