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shade184I had a fight with a friend on MSN last night.
Actually, no. It was more of a case of "he stands there and yells at me, bossing me around and calling me horrible names while I just sit there wondering where all this bitterness is coming from."
By all accounts, I should have been really cut up. Among other things, he said that I should "go fail university like [I] know will happen because [I] never do anything", and that I was a "fat lazy fuck".
When this is coming from someone who is pretty much the only friend you come in contact with, most people would wonder what was wrong with themselves. But it was really odd - I didn't feel cut up at all, or even remotely hurt. I just... observed. Watched him get angry. And from his perspective, I probably stayed infuriatingly calm.
The reason he got so angry was because he said I should add in a nonessential but useful line of code into my computer's config files, and I said I'd do it later. After the initial "just fucking do it" outburst, saying that I'll never get it done because I never do, he resorted to insults. And I mean, SERIOUS insults. I won't go into any more detail. But I felt a massive sense of overreaction. Something else, behind the scenes.
True, I taunted him a little. But only after he got pissy. Mostly I just told him that he was overreacting and needed to calm down.
*sigh* I hate fighting with friends. Even if he didn't hurt me, his intentions were very, very clear. And I'm just wondering where all this hatred was coming from. Insecurity? Actual, honest resentment? Or is this just "his way" of showing displeasure? Whatever the reason, I need to re-think things.
I'll never get him to admit he's wrong. He's even more stubborn than I am, to the point that he'll say something regarding what is going on in my head based on his "observations", and maintain his point to the bitter end because he apparently knows my mind better than I do.
And at other times, he's a great guy. We hang out all the time, usually without incident.
But he insulted me in very strong ways about many things last night, including my weight (insults regarding which I honestly don't care about, but he thinks I do) and my inability to get a job (which oddly didn't annoy me either). I detach too easily, although it was good thing in this case. But like I said. Even if I wasn't hurt, he was definitely trying.
Anyway, I'll stop here. I wonder where things will go from here? I know that I don't want to be friends with someone who will try to cut my legs out from under me at the first sign of "rebellion". Or even a person who thinks of it as "rebellion".
But I wonder what his reasons were?
EDIT: We've made up. It's all good now.
Actually, no. It was more of a case of "he stands there and yells at me, bossing me around and calling me horrible names while I just sit there wondering where all this bitterness is coming from."
By all accounts, I should have been really cut up. Among other things, he said that I should "go fail university like [I] know will happen because [I] never do anything", and that I was a "fat lazy fuck".
When this is coming from someone who is pretty much the only friend you come in contact with, most people would wonder what was wrong with themselves. But it was really odd - I didn't feel cut up at all, or even remotely hurt. I just... observed. Watched him get angry. And from his perspective, I probably stayed infuriatingly calm.
The reason he got so angry was because he said I should add in a nonessential but useful line of code into my computer's config files, and I said I'd do it later. After the initial "just fucking do it" outburst, saying that I'll never get it done because I never do, he resorted to insults. And I mean, SERIOUS insults. I won't go into any more detail. But I felt a massive sense of overreaction. Something else, behind the scenes.
True, I taunted him a little. But only after he got pissy. Mostly I just told him that he was overreacting and needed to calm down.
*sigh* I hate fighting with friends. Even if he didn't hurt me, his intentions were very, very clear. And I'm just wondering where all this hatred was coming from. Insecurity? Actual, honest resentment? Or is this just "his way" of showing displeasure? Whatever the reason, I need to re-think things.
I'll never get him to admit he's wrong. He's even more stubborn than I am, to the point that he'll say something regarding what is going on in my head based on his "observations", and maintain his point to the bitter end because he apparently knows my mind better than I do.
And at other times, he's a great guy. We hang out all the time, usually without incident.
But he insulted me in very strong ways about many things last night, including my weight (insults regarding which I honestly don't care about, but he thinks I do) and my inability to get a job (which oddly didn't annoy me either). I detach too easily, although it was good thing in this case. But like I said. Even if I wasn't hurt, he was definitely trying.
Anyway, I'll stop here. I wonder where things will go from here? I know that I don't want to be friends with someone who will try to cut my legs out from under me at the first sign of "rebellion". Or even a person who thinks of it as "rebellion".
But I wonder what his reasons were?
EDIT: We've made up. It's all good now.