(no subject)
May. 7th, 2011 07:19 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shade184Just got back from a sleepover at my brother's place. We used to have a sort of tradition - he and I would get some soft drink and nachos, and play through one of the Halo games together in co-op mode. Some of the best gaming moments I've ever had have been with Andy, and now that I've bought Halo: Reach, it was fantastic to get back together and play through it with him. Such a great game, and a wonderful end to a wonderful series.
------
Sometimes, I hate my family situation.
Two of my sisters are doing their utmost to bring my parents down, out of nought but spite. My brother is in a relationship that is not good for him, but he can't see it. (I was in a similar one, too, and I know from experience that it's nigh-impossible to realise that you're in a bad situation until you're way past it.) And his girlfriend is a cunt. My parents would be able to handle things if it was just the kids, but the interference from Tina and Bethany are overwhelming them. There's a lot of built-up teenage frustration being unleashed at the first potential target, and all I can do is pitch in and be there for my folks when things get tought. I feel so helpless.
(My job offers a small mercy in this regard. When I live away from home, I don't have to think about any of this.)
On top of all this, the situation is changing me too, in many ways. I haven't been able to get my driving time up much at all, and after two years am close to, but still not at a hundred hours yet. I have learned to sacrifice the things most important to me, for the greater good. I have learned to be patient. My entire personality is built around suppressing my own darker side, so as to protect my family and friends. While I am extremely flexible, this comes at the cost of my own steadfastness - I can adapt more easily because I have nothing to hold onto. My religious beliefs are completely different. After a period of beng uncomfortably overweight, I am starting to revert back to how I used to be.
I have to wait for this to blow over. But it's a very stressful time, and especially now that I'm living like I am, I don't have nearly as much moral support from my friends as I used to.
I'm going to change because of this too. I'm going to become stronger, physically and mentally, and I'm going to become more independent, relying less on my friends and family. This is a good thing in the long run, but I do not want to forget the people I care about. They're practically my family now.
------
Sometimes, I hate my family situation.
Two of my sisters are doing their utmost to bring my parents down, out of nought but spite. My brother is in a relationship that is not good for him, but he can't see it. (I was in a similar one, too, and I know from experience that it's nigh-impossible to realise that you're in a bad situation until you're way past it.) And his girlfriend is a cunt. My parents would be able to handle things if it was just the kids, but the interference from Tina and Bethany are overwhelming them. There's a lot of built-up teenage frustration being unleashed at the first potential target, and all I can do is pitch in and be there for my folks when things get tought. I feel so helpless.
(My job offers a small mercy in this regard. When I live away from home, I don't have to think about any of this.)
On top of all this, the situation is changing me too, in many ways. I haven't been able to get my driving time up much at all, and after two years am close to, but still not at a hundred hours yet. I have learned to sacrifice the things most important to me, for the greater good. I have learned to be patient. My entire personality is built around suppressing my own darker side, so as to protect my family and friends. While I am extremely flexible, this comes at the cost of my own steadfastness - I can adapt more easily because I have nothing to hold onto. My religious beliefs are completely different. After a period of beng uncomfortably overweight, I am starting to revert back to how I used to be.
I have to wait for this to blow over. But it's a very stressful time, and especially now that I'm living like I am, I don't have nearly as much moral support from my friends as I used to.
I'm going to change because of this too. I'm going to become stronger, physically and mentally, and I'm going to become more independent, relying less on my friends and family. This is a good thing in the long run, but I do not want to forget the people I care about. They're practically my family now.