Shielding.
Sep. 18th, 2011 11:28 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shade184I was up late last night RPing, and so this morning I (obviously) slept in. Woke up about twenty minutes ago. My head was usually foggy again.
I've noticed lately that I've been a lot more automatic when I wake up. I don't think about what I do, I just feel it and do it. Obviously, to an extent, this is the case with everything (muscle memory is one of our most commonly used abilities) but I've noticed the disassociation that occurs here is actually quite strong. I just feel like I'm walking around half-awake, yet still functioning (almost) perfectly.
Lately, and especially throughout this past year, I've been dealing with mattive lifestyle changes. As the saying goes, my entire world has been turned upside down. These changes are for the better, definitely, and I've been consciously handling them (quite masterfully, I might add if that didn't make me sound like a bragging douchbag). However, what about subconsiously? Why have I started disassociating so much? I dunno. Maybe it's a defence mechanism or something. I definitely know that the escapism (gaming, RPing, etc) has been, oddly, more immersive over this past year. It could be a result of painting - I had way too much thinking time while doing that, and that could have been a result.
Whatever it was, it doesn't really bother me all that much. I'm still completely functional - I just don't notice all that much. I just wrote this 'cause I wanted somewhere to think about it "out loud".
Anyways, that's all for now.
I've noticed lately that I've been a lot more automatic when I wake up. I don't think about what I do, I just feel it and do it. Obviously, to an extent, this is the case with everything (muscle memory is one of our most commonly used abilities) but I've noticed the disassociation that occurs here is actually quite strong. I just feel like I'm walking around half-awake, yet still functioning (almost) perfectly.
Lately, and especially throughout this past year, I've been dealing with mattive lifestyle changes. As the saying goes, my entire world has been turned upside down. These changes are for the better, definitely, and I've been consciously handling them (quite masterfully, I might add if that didn't make me sound like a bragging douchbag). However, what about subconsiously? Why have I started disassociating so much? I dunno. Maybe it's a defence mechanism or something. I definitely know that the escapism (gaming, RPing, etc) has been, oddly, more immersive over this past year. It could be a result of painting - I had way too much thinking time while doing that, and that could have been a result.
Whatever it was, it doesn't really bother me all that much. I'm still completely functional - I just don't notice all that much. I just wrote this 'cause I wanted somewhere to think about it "out loud".
Anyways, that's all for now.
no subject
on 2011-09-18 02:30 am (UTC)*Hugs*
no subject
on 2011-09-18 02:35 am (UTC)*Hugs*